On a recent episode of The Late Show, Stephen Colbert had this to say about Donald Trump becoming the Republican nominee:

“A Trump nomination is just hard to process,” Colbert said. “This feels like a political shift of biblical proportions…like an act of God. But why would a loving God let this happen?”

From there the heavens (or rather the ceiling of Colbert’s theater) opened and God appeared to the Late Show host and upon hearing that Trump was the GOP nominee our heavenly father had this to say:

“WHAT?! Trump the guy with the weird hair who sold steaks at the Sharper Image? Oh he’s the worst…Stephen I’ve been pretty busy to follow the election! I’ve been dealing with a supernova in another galaxy and I got to decide who wins the NBA Finals…What happened to Jeb? I thought he was a sure thing?”

Yes even God couldn’t predict the YUGE victories The Donald would have over Cruz and Kasich that bumped the final candidates standing between Trump and the nomination out of the race.

And on the Democratic side it would take divine intervention for Bernie Sanders to loosen the stranglehold on Clinton’s delegate lead, so the Trump v. Clinton matchup that America somehow deserves has the two candidates ready to duke it out.

Now as a first time voter who was an advocate of two campaigns that didn’t pan out in this wacky election cycle (first with Rubio, then with Sanders who I voted for in the primary) the thought of choosing between Trump and Clinton has kept me up at night.

After I voted Sanders I figured “Well hell if he doesn’t win I’ll just vote for Hillary it doesn’t really matter anyways right?”

But this campaign isn’t about party allegiance or ideologies or even choosing who you think is the best suited candidate.

This campaign has made me one thing I’ve never striven to be: selfish.

You see this election comes at a time when so much is changing in my life—when the new President is sworn in January 20, 2017 I’ll be two weeks into my Naval Recruit training in Illinois.

By no means do I feel either of these dimwit candidates are the right choice for America as a whole, but it’s gotten to the point where I can’t choose who I actually want so why not get greedy?

If Trump is a Republican (which I’m pretty sure he is) he’ll want to boost the importance of military funding and making sure we have the Government funds to keep our military strong.

Yes that’s right I’m putting aside all common sense in favor of me getting mine: Welcome to America.

It’s almost sad really.  I was so invested in the political process with this being the first year I could actively participate and follow each candidate’s path, but now I have to choose between the man everyone hates and the woman no one trusts.

I don’t hate Hillary Clinton and I’d consider myself a conservative Democrat, but her poor standing relationship with the military and enthusiasm to spend more on welfare programs than our public defense has turned me into a one-issue voter.

Whoever is in the Oval Office this winter I pray that they go beyond the expectations this campaign has for them, but I’ll be supporting the man I never thought I would be because of the next step I’m taking in my life.