Dear Mister Wilde, I talk back

Illustration+by+Jeff+Durham%2C+provided+by+Tribune+News+Service

MCT

Illustration by Jeff Durham, provided by Tribune News Service

MISTER WILDE, Advice Columnist

Dear Mister Wilde,

I have a problem, a BIG one. I talk back! I have gotten in trouble multiple times with my mom (and undisclosed others) and I need help to combat this. I have never been like this before. Has high school done this to me?

Sincerely Sassy Franny

 

Dear Sassy Franny,

To solve any problem, we need to go to the source.

In this case, high school appears to be the culprit as you suggest. This makes sense in every way. Increased workload, more stress, meaner teachers, classmates are psychotic little monsters and Lucy just won’t stop teasing your hair. In other words, welcome to life.

Not to sound indifferent, but you face nothing in school that others before you have not. And as each generation grows up, they all defeat the tendency of talking back and move on into proper adulthood.

So if high school is not affecting you any differently than those around you, and yet this problem is so significant, there must be some other cause.

What is, then?

Perhaps this situation is not quite what you think. You need to change your perspective.

Stop looking at this as a “problem” and start looking at it like a “gift.” You are developing the unique talent of standing up for yourself and speaking your opinion without fear of the consequences. While everyone else complies with the silly rules of social etiquette, you stand tall and proud in this sea of spineless, polite, pathetic losers. To curb that growth right now would be a travesty.

But of course, this does not address the biggest problem. The fact that you care enough to ask, or in fact care at all, implies you are an underclassmen. And this leads to my brilliant conclusion that you depend on your parents. So your actual problem is not the sass, but the reaction you receive at home. Ticking off the parental units would not bode well for your life. And as mentioned, you are getting into trouble with you mother. So what now?

You must learn the skills of proper communication, particularly with your mom.

As a parent, your mother is exposed to all sorts of difficulties and stresses you cannot even begin to imagine. It is probably as a result of these that her fuse might be a bit shorter than usual, or that she reacts poorly to your unwanted commentary.

She needs to feel loved and at ease when you are around, not under pressure or challenged. She deserves a break.

That’s why I wholeheartedly recommend for you to just tell her to just “relax” or “chill out” the next time you get in trouble for speaking your mind. She will thoughtfully consider your advice and the two of you will have a meaningful moment afterwards. It might help to compare her to other parents. Then she might see the error of her ways. And when push comes to shove, raising your voice will convey your point effectively. You know how it is, the older you get, the harder it is to hear. A good shout will wake her up!

I encourage you to remain strong and keep up the good work. Do not think of this as talking back, but as standing up for your beliefs. I promise you great results now, and in the future.

Always happy to help and encourage,

Mister Wilde