Why ‘dabbing’ needs to die

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Jeff Siner/Charlotte Observer/TNS

Newton’s play on the field won him MVP and rightfully so—but he’ll forever be remembered for making the “sneeze-nod” go viral.

Joe DeNardo, Chief Editor

The Ickey Shuffle and the Dirty Bird—two phrases that share two distinct bonds in existence:

They’re both stupid, and they both became popular because of NFL teams that lost the Super Bowl.

All seriousness aside, it’s fair to say that this is probably the first time since 1989 that anyone’s wrote on the Ickey Shuffle or since ’98 in regards to the Dirty Bird—but there’s good reasoning!

The good reasoning in question involves another dance move turned phenomenon popularized by a hype team that ended up losing the Super Bowl.

Of course I’m talking about dabbing—and if you think the dance is old news then CONGRATULATIONS you’re already ahead of the learning curve!

Our problem begins with 2015 NFL MVP Cam Newton, who after scoring touchdowns during the Carolina Panthers 15-1 regular season would follow up by “Dabbin’ on em” with the cameras pointed in his direction.

This dance would come to the joy of Panthers faithful and irritation of opponents, who mocked Newton’s dance and ultimately led to him being billed as the careless degenerate dueling against the conventional old man’s hero Peyton Manning.

Of course that wasn’t the only means of the deceiving dances popularity, as many Vine stars and uncoordinated dudes who needed a go-to dance move made the Dab spread like wildfire.

Mayfield senior Jake Landry is one of the silent majority who feels this modern Running Man needs to be laid to rest like its counterparts.

“Yeah I think the ship has sailed on the Dab,” Landry said. “Someone needs to come up with some new material because this thing has been here way too long.”

Don’t misinterpret this piece—I’m not calling for a federal ban on the Dab, but I am in fact advocating that we don’t use it as the primary means of dance move when in a jam.

The most important thing to know is that dancing is an extension of self. Isn’t it time to do our civic duty as human beings and branch out to fresher, more exciting moves?

The choice is yours whether or not you want to perform a “sneeze-nod” as I will now be referring to it, but you can be certain that I will be the first to hang this one up in its rightful place of things our grandchildren will laugh at us for.